Greystone Park opens with a semi ominous warning from an old woman
(grandmother?) not to visit this abandoned asylum. It cuts to a new
scene that flashes "Two weeks ago". Then, it's followed by a quick
series of a ghost hunting team investigating the asylum interspersed
with news footage of the mental hospital's operating days - people
screaming, twitching from electro shock therapy, and crying. This
opening detracts more than it adds as I have no connection with
the characters, so I really don't care yet what happens to them.
The film flashes to the back story of the ghost hunting team. A groups
sits around a table telling "ghost" stories, then we're in a library and
told a Medusa myth, and finally we're in the car listening to them
argue about legends and folklore. Yawn. I'm already bored and we're
only about ten minutes in. Doesn't bode well.
The most exciting event thus far is that hubs and I recognized the area
in Jersey they filmed at least part--if not all--of the film. Hubs
wanted to turn it off fifteen minutes after it started, but I argued to
wait until they got to the asylum. My bad.
We get yet more back story about the asylum, while they play with knives
and a "real" Spartan sword (I wish I was joking, but no. Apparently, the
director has a penchant for Greek myths.) All of which is boring, since
it's being told and not shown. And we're still not at the mental
hospital at the twenty minute mark.
When we finally get to the asylum, hubs remarks, "Why would the lights
be on?" In uncanny timing, one of the characters asks the same thing! To
which the other replies, "It's the generators." Um. Okay. Why would
generators be on in an abandoned building? Sadly, no one answers my
question. They also have to walk through a graveyard (it's the only way
in) and disarm a motion detector. I had no idea abandoned buildings had
such great security. Although, personally, I think a moat would be much
better than a graveyard, preferably filled with alligators. Since we
know alligators are indigenous to Jersey. ;)
 |
| Beware the Jersey Gator! |
Oh look, we're in the asylum. Only took twenty-five minutes into our
ninety minute movie. I guess I should pay attention now. Bathtub.
Drawing of a face with no eyes. Hey, another drawing with the Freemason
symbol.Why do they always get a bad wrap? Anyway, they also found a cassette , doll heads, and mannequin legs. Double yawn.
 |
| Dolls, dolls, everywhere. |
Flickering lights. Shaking camera. Babbling ghost hunter. The old time
horror music is a nice throwback. Now, an insistence by one of the crew
that "they have to go to the kitchen". "Why?" the other asks. "Cause
that's where they eat." Oooo...kay. The newest theory is the people got
turned into dolls. And they find a raggedy Ann doll. And then, more
dolls. And yet...more dolls. Next, they find a spot to play the
cassette. Flapper style Jazz music. Text message from unknown people aka
ghosts reading, "Jesus wept". He's not the only one. I'm about ready to
cry from boredom.
The best part of Greystone Park is this dark figure that keeps appearing
on camera, but the characters can't see. Alas, the facts behind the
mental facility (see PS below) and the making of this film's
extra info (check out interviews with director,
Sean Stone aka Oliver
Stone's son) are better than the actual movie.
Rating: D
PS Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital was an actual mental hospital in
New Jersey. It closed in 2003, a decision by the governor, due to
negative press. Incidents of sexual abuse, poor patient care, and
overcrowding prompted the closure. A new operating facility bearing the
same name stands on the original grounds.
What do you think of the documentary style horror flicks? How about Stone's take on it, "meta-realism"?
About the Authors
