Friday, March 1, 2013

Freaky Friday: The Innkeepers

"Pessimism is just a higher form of optimism. If you go through life expecting nothing from people, you wind up pleasantly surprised." Best one-liner in the movie and sums up all of my expectations of horror flicks. Alas, I was NOT pleasantly surprised. The Innkeepers lacked...everything.
The two main characters are bored at the start of the film and...so am I. The boredom does not alleviate and the setup in the beginning is so heavy-handed, I rolled my eyes through much of it. Examples: a screeching phone, girl takes a puff of her inhaler, the staff keep messing with the bell, a cuckoo clock. All of these things I would guess play a part in the scares later.
Chekhov's gun, anyone?
And I'd be wrong. So little actually happens in this movie. It is split into three chapters and an epilogue, each with a title that honestly, I didn't pay much attention to because it wasn't important to the story. The plot is loosely tied around these innkeepers and their quest to find the ghost of Madeline O'Malley. Unfortunately that one line synopsis is more interesting than the movie itself.
This picture is creepier than the film.
The ending ties nothing together. Not one thing is resolved. All the pieces are scattered about haphazardly. I'd rate the movie, but I have no clue how to even given it a score. I'd say it was bad, but that would mean it evoked an emotional response from me, which it didn't. I'll have to pull an Ebert and say it belongs in a place where the stars don't shine.

Rating: Not enough to care

Have you been subjected to watching The Innkeepers? If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. Do you love the quote? Best part of the film.

6 comments :

  1. Oh my. Now some people love those type of stories. As a horror movie/book guru we may be a bit jaded :-D

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    1. I fully admit to being a jaded, cynic, and harsh reviewer when it comes to horror movies. But, this one...oy! What a mess.

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  2. I must admit, I looked at this, and decided it would be too scary. But now I'm tempted. I love getting a laugh out of horror movies. :)

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    1. Oh you can totally handle it. Not scary at all.

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  3. I remember this one (surprised I do, since it was so slow-paced and dull). Couldn't finish it. Glad to see I'm not the only one who had trouble with it!

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  4. Oh no! LOL! I haven't seen this one and I'm glad. It sounds awful.

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