Monday, February 6, 2012

The Mystery of the Melting Cake

*Note: All names of human family members and friends may be changed to protect them from horrible embarrassment. Pets ' names remain the same.

I'd been living with Auntie N for about two years when I decided it was time to move out. At eighteen, I packed up my bags and moved into my own apartment. It was a small one room studio, 15x18 feet, that I shared with my best friend, Lynn. I enjoyed my independence, but somehow always got suckered back to Auntie N's house for crazy misadventures. This particular day was no different, except...
Auntie N had been dating a man for a few months and his birthday was coming up. She wanted to do something special for him and decided that baking was the ticket. Why she decided this I don't know considering she doesn't like to cook and for all intensive purposes can't cook. (She's gotten better over the years, not so much then). Anyway, she was adamant about making him a cake. So...
Over I come with a Betty Crocker box in hand ready to make a SIMPLE angel's food or devil's food cake. Unfortunately, Auntie N had other ideas. She was going to make a Blackout cake from scratch and I - of course - was going to help her. Now, why she thought I, of all people, would be able to help her I do not know. It's not only that I don't like to cook, but I am a terrible cook. I am so bad that I've actually burned water. Yes, I've burned water. And no, I don't know how I accomplished that either. Moving on...
After making a valiant attempt to convince her toward the Betty Crocker box, she isn't moved and decides to proceed with the Blackout cake. We read the directions, follow them to the letter, place the yummy batter into a pan, and stick it in the oven. A short while later, we remove the cake from the oven and BEHOLD! It looks perfect! Auntie N goes excitedly to call said boyfriend to come over for the surprise. As she makes the call, I hold the cake marveling at how amazing it came out, and then...
I can't breathe. Air is rushing out of my lungs and no matter what I do I can't seem to catch my breath. Don't worry, I'm not having an asthma attack. I'm laughing too hard. Auntie N's back is to me and I'm trying to get her off the phone while balancing the cake in my palms. I place it on the table and tap her on the shoulder. She turns around, annoyed that I've dragged her from the phone call, and says, "WHAT?" I get the words out one at a time between laughs, "Th-The...cake!" "Huh? What?" she replies. I try again. "The cake... the cake... is... melting!" "WHAT!?!?!"

And so, the beautiful Blackout cake which originally looked like this...
Became in the course of mere seconds, this...
 Turns out we used the wrong flour. Who knew there was more than one type of flour? Did I mention that I am NOT a cook?

16 comments :

  1. Oh no!!! LOL! That's too funny, Tina! I did the same thing when I first baked a cake from scratch. :)

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    1. Never again! Wait until I tell you about the pumpkin pie story. ;)

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  2. You had me at "Cake."

    I saw you in the adult campaign group. I'm glad to be in there with you! :)

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    1. YAY David! Glad you've joined the campaign.

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  3. Hi, I'm stopping by from the campaign and loved this post. I look forward to reading about more of your adventures!

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    1. Hi there! Nice to meet you and I look forward to visiting your blog. :)

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  4. Just because they look funny doesn't mean they don't taste as good. ; ) Hi, Tina. We're in the paranormal romance group on Rach's campaign list. Just thought I'd pop in and say hello.

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    1. Hi Melissa! Nice to meet you. Happy campaigning! And yes, it did still taste good. :)

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  5. ROTFL! I got tears in my eyes I laughed so hard. Thank you for that, so much! And wait, different kinds of flour? Wow do I feel woefully inadequate as a cook. ;)

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    1. I know! Who ever heard of different types of flour? LOL

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  6. Hahaha. That's hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, I once set my kitchen on fire with microwavable tater tots. Now that's skill.

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    1. Hmmm...microwavable tater tots? Why did I not know about this food group?

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  7. Hi there :-) I'm in the paranormal romance campaign group with you. New follower of your blog :-)

    xx Rachel

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    1. Hi Rachel! Thanks for stopping by and happy campaigning!

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