Friday, December 23, 2011

Freaky Friday: Wishcraft

Brace yourselves readers, this one is a ride, but not the adventure park roller coaster. Nah, it's sort of like the broken teacup ride that your mom forced you to go on with your kid sister - slow and painful. Let's break it down in list form so that my brain doesn't explode. Oh Wishcraft, I barely new ye...
  • Acting that toddlers unable to form full sentences could have pulled off better
  • Dialogue (see above)
  • A star overweight and incompetent "athlete" named Jimbo who screamed like a hyena
  • A detective named Sparky - does this one even need a comment
  • The killer's freaky mask that's some lame copy of a cross between the Scream masks and a pig
  • A samurai sword, should be cool, but not the way the killer wields it - yes, this makes me a martial arts snob. I don't care.
  • The "hero"aka Brett Bumpers. Really Brett Bumpers? *sigh*
Brett Bumpers!
The main character, Brett Bumpers *giggles*, makes stupid wishes on some weird totem - three wishes, how original. I don’t know how he found it, because I missed the opening fifteen minutes - real shame. But, first he wishes for a hot and popular cheerleader to go to a dance with him, then he wishes for said hot and popular cheerleader to become his girlfriend. Can’t he think of a better wish? Like I dunno, world peace?
Hot & Popular Cheerleader
His nerd buddy gets a hold of his totem - insert inappropriate joke here - and wishes to be a “badass mofo”. Yeah, I don’t know what it means either. It gets perpetually worse, and I had to turn it off about an hour in. So, I have no idea how it ends, sorry. But, with 45 minutes more of the movie to go, I couldn’t take it anymore. This movie is everything cliché and WRONG about horror movies. If you want just under two hours of mindnumbing stupidity, check it out. Otherwise, stay away. Far far away. 

UPDATE: I checked out the ending just for you all and... Initial verdict stands. STAY AWAY!

Rating: F

1 comment :

  1. "Badass mofo"? How could it be bad? *wink* I think I'll stay clear of this one. Thanks for the review!

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