Monday, October 3, 2011

Hairspray Cans Make the Best Weapons

The first official post of Monthly Monday is here. In this segment, I feature stories about the wacky adventures of my family and friends on the first Monday of each month. Since it is October - and that means Halloween time - I'd like to tell you a spooky tale involving me, my friend Lynn* and a can of hairspray.

*Note: All names of human family members may be changed to protect them from horrible embarrassment. Dogs' names remain the same.
On a cold Autumn eve, in the year *cough*, seventeen year olds, Lynn and Tina sat giggling in front of a TV screen - not the flat kind. They laughed as another stupid girl in a horror movie ran up the stairs to get away from the killer instead of using the obvious choice of exit - the front door.

"Why don't they ever learn?" Tina said, shaking her head at the blatant idiocy.
"Because then you wouldn't have a horror movie." Lynn said.
"True, but I don't think the people in these movies could find it even with a blinking EXIT sign."
"You're probably right."
The girls continued their assessment viewing of the horror movie, squealing and tsking at the appropriate moments. By midnight, they finished the film and awaited the arrival of Auntie N back from her date. Tina had been staying with Auntie N for several months by now. As they clicked off the TV, a sudden bang crashed from beyond the front door - one flight down.

"What was that?" Lynn said.
"Dunno. Let's check it out." Tina said, already bolting for the window.

The window and the balcony revealed nothing but tree limbs blowing in the wind as the girls struggled to find the source of the noise. As they were about to shrug it off as a freak occurrence, another bang echoed through the house.
"Is it coming from outside?" Tina said.
"I'm not sure. Should we go check?" Lynn said. "Maybe it's your aunt?"
"Why would she be banging downstairs? She has a key."
"Maybe she forgot it."
"Let's call her first."

The phone rang once, twice, three times before turning to voicemail. Without an answer, the girls decided to brave the unknown and have a look outside, but not without backup. Tina fetched her cousin's baseball bat from his closet and Lynn grabbed a can of hair spray and a lighter. Since Tina volunteered to lead the way, she had one small request of Lynn, "Do NOT light my hair on fire!"
Creeping down the stairs, they checked closets as they passed - Tina bracing the bat in hand and Lynn aiming the hairspray. Finding nothing, they proceeded to the front door. The banging grew louder. Tina gripped the doorknob and steadied the bat. Lynn positioned the hairspray.

"On three?" Tina said.
"Okay," Lynn said.

The girls rushed forward courageously, but found nothing but empty air waiting for them. They thought themselves safe and went to go back inside, but out of the bushes came a creature, hollering and staggering toward them. Courage forgotten, they raced up the stairs - like the stupid girls from horror movies - screaming their heads off. Fortunately, the creature turned out to be Auntie N hidden behind a rain jacket and having, indeed, forgotten her keys.

Thanks for reading this month's monthly Monday story! And don't forget to enter these contests...

From Tina & Yelena in celebration of our agent signings HERE and HERE, double the chance to win $10 gift cards from Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Winner's choice! Contest open until October 7th.


  1. ROTFL! That was awesome. I have tears in my eyes I laughed so hard! It's funny, as a kid I've sat and done the same thing with a horror movie, then got scared and hid.

  2. Thanks Heather! I STILL make fun of those horror movies and it drives me crazy when anyone runs up the stairs, la vie! :D

  3. Hahaha.... great story, Tina! I did *almost* the same thing when I first saw Scream (I too will not say how long ago *that* was!) - except I was by myself. I could've sworn I heard a chainsaw in the house after watching the movie, so I was completely spooked. Come to find out, it was my step-dad. How in the world my mother was able to sleep through that snoring, I'll never know! :o)